My Own Pet Wizard
by Elvinborn
Summary: TV verse: When Harry goes missing and Murphy inherits a dog that, allegedly, is the missing wizard, Murphy with a little help from Bob has to figure out how to get Harry back.  Random fluff.


AN:: written for an "animal" challenge. I hope you enjoy it! comments are loved.

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I've dealt with a lot of weirdness in my time as a cop in this city, and since I met Harry Dresden, things have only gotten more ridiculous. I could handle it (mostly) if it was just a little oddness or the occasional exploded creepy mansion. Fewer creep mansions for crack dealers and creepy occult rituals I say. But when Harry goes missing for a few days and a roommate nobody's ever seen or heard of before appears in Harry's apartment declaring that the very large border collie/terrier/labrador licking my hand is the missing wizard, I draw the line.

For one thing, tall unkempt men do not suddenly become dogs. It's just not possible.

"Not probable," interjected the mysterious roommate.

Also, I've known Harry for years, and there has never once been mention or evidence of a roommate.

"You wound me, lady."

I definitely would have remembered this guy. He was tall and well-dressed with perfect posture and absolutely white hair. Not to mention the accent. Where did this guy come from? And why did he keep responding to my thoughts?

"Well," he said, smirking, "I could claim that I can read minds, and deal with your amazement and disbelief. But eventually that would grow boring, and Harry would still be a dog, so I should probably just point out now that you're thinking out loud. And that my name is Bob, not roommate."

"Oh." He didn't have to look so damned smug about it. I thought about it for a minute. "Okay. Let's say this dog here is Harry." The dog wagged his tail, and the roommate nodded. "So that someone or something has suddenly turned him into a shaggy four-legged pet with bad breath." The dog wagged his tail and growled at the bad breath comment. The roommate smiled. There was a slightly malicious glint to that smile. It made me start to like him. Just a little. "I want to know who was involved, and what, exactly, you expect me to do about it."

"Well, for starters, I have certain... afflictions that make it impossible to take Harry out to... do his business," there was definitely malice in the grin now, "so he'll be needing to go out."

Oh no. I don't think so. "Oh I don't think so," I stalled. Bad enough if it was just a dog, but assuming, for the moment, that the dog really was my friend, I did NOT want to be standing there while he peed on his own car tires. Over my cold dead, corpse would I let him pee on i my /i tires. Whatever the situation, the mutt did look like he had to go. He kept sitting and standing and dancing around, and then sitting again. "Fine. I'll take the thing out." The dog growled. "And you will get me in touch with Harry. Okay?"

"Excellent." The roommate was smiling again. I don't think I like it when he looks that pleased with himself.

I took the dog out and let him lift his leg on a tree, and then because he got so excited about it, a fire hydrant. Only Harry would be so thrilled to participate in such a cliche. Assuming, that is, that this dog really was Harry Dresden. And I didn't believe that at all. Really. When we came back to the apartment, the roommate did not put me in contact with the real Harry. He did have me pull down several strange crumbling books from the overcrowded shelves around Harry's apartment. (Why he couldn't do this himself, I'm still not sure.) And then I somehow ended up taking the dog home with me for the time being. At least I have a yard.

Harry the dog did not like being left in the yard. When he realized that I meant to leave him there for the night, he parked himself at the back door and howled. I swear he was smiling when I relented and let him in. I would not be held responsible for this dog being shot by an angry neighbor. After Harry watched some tv with me on the couch and a rousing game of 'get the ball' (if this really was Harry, I'd definitely tease him about that one) with a tennis ball from who knows where, the dog made himself at home on one of my pillows.

"Oh no, mister," I growled, "wizards AND big hairy dogs sleep on the couch."

The dog whimpered pitifully, but I stood my ground until he jumped off the bed and curled up on the living room sofa. I never knew dogs were so good with understanding English. I was going to give him hell about the reproachful doggie look he was giving me on the sofa too. Assuming that the dog really was Harry, which he couldn't possibly be.

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The next morning, I opened my eyes to discover a large dog nose not three inches away from mine. "Have you been there long?" I asked, confused.

The dog tilted his head and wagged his tail.

"I guess you want to go out, huh?"

He wagged his tail more and jumped for the door. I let Harry out (as good a name for a dog as it is for a wizard), and made us some bacon and eggs for breakfast. I don't know if that's what you're supposed to feed them, but it's not like I had anything else. Harry seemed to enjoy it. He brought me the tennis ball when our meal was finished, but we didn't have time for that. We were leaving for Harry the Wizard's apartment as soon as possible.

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The roommate was anxiously waiting for us when we walked through his (unlocked) door. We were greeted with a somewhat nervous but proper-sounding, "Ah, excellent! The good lady and her hound have arrived!"

The next thing I knew, I was brewing some sort of potion (or so Bob called it. I guess that's appropriate enough for a guy who calls himself a wizard) with Harry's hair, a piece I had cut from his favorite jacket, and various other things from around the apartment. Strange that the smell from the concoction really did smell just like my friend.

When Bob pronounced the brew ready, I poured it in a bowl for the dog who drank it down without any encouragement. Odd.

And then, nothing happened. Nothing changed. There was still a giant mutt standing in front of me looking expectant. "Now what?" I asked Bob. The dog looked at Bob and growled.

"Um. I really do not know, madame. That should have worked. Perhaps we should have used more of the..."

I didn't catch the rest of what he was mumbling because Harry started barking at the very large hissing cat sitting on top of a bookcase. Great. I was late for work anyway, so I yelled something to Bob about trying him again tomorrow and dragged the mutt out the door.

Thank God it was a slow day at work. Kirmani commented on it not being 'bring your pet to work day', but I got away with it when I told him it was related to a case. And, really, that wasn't a complete lie. Harry wasn't an official missing persons case, but he would be in another twenty hours. Close enough. I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to think of ways to find the real Harry and realizing that I had no idea where he would hang out. I gave up, took the dog home with me again, and shared a tv dinner with him. He obediently slept on the couch without even having to be told.

I could get used to having a dog.

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I woke up in the morning without a dog breathing on my face. Strange how I should come to expect that in just a day. I rolled out of bed and headed for the kitchen to discover a very naked wizard asleep on my couch.

I froze mid-step as Harry Dresden (did I mention that he was naked?) stretched and groaned and blinked his eyes open. "Hi Murph," he greeted me sleepily.

"Uh. Hey Dresden." Any second now...

"Hey Murph?"

"Yeah Harry?"

"Why am I naked on your sofa?"

"I'm not sure, Harry, but your roommate said you were a dog."

"My roommate?"

"Bob?"

"Oh! My roommate. Sure. He's a little..."

Harry stood up, walked into my room, and returned to the kitchen while tying the belt of the lavender silk dressing gown I kept hanging on the closet door. We had coffee in silence and I took Harry home. We didn't speak at all until Harry was just getting out of the car back at his apartment.

"Hey, Murphy?" he started as he turned to close the car door.

"Harry, if you are going to apologize or try to explain anything to me, just stop right now. I don't ..."

Harry cut me off mid-rant. "Thanks for playing fetch with me." The mischievous grin he flashed me almost made me forgive him for two days of complete confusion and years of unanswered questions.

It was fun to have a dog for a couple of days, I thought to myself. But I didn't tell Harry. I just smiled at him and waved goodbye as I headed in for work.


End file.
